The Five Lies of Youth Ministry: Part Five - "It's About the Heart, Not the Head"

Our faith is not about rules and regulations. Our faith is about an experience; it is about making the connection between our heads and our hearts. We need less theologizing and more evangelizing, less ratio and more fides. We need our young people to know Jesus in their hearts, not their heads.

This is, perhaps, the most dangerous and subtle of all the lies, and it is for that reason that I conclude this series with it. The reason being that I agree with almost the entirety of the statement above: our faith is not about rules, but an encounter with the person of Jesus Christ. We must make the connection between our heads and hearts. And we must evangelize before we catechize. Yet there is a dichotomy developed in the “lie” which has done incredible damage to youth ministry in the last forty years. In fact, this lie has crippled along with it modern science, philosophy, and, perhaps most fatally, theology. The lie is this: that we need more fides and less ratio—more faith and less reason—as if the two could be separated. I assure you, they cannot.

            Our young people are being raised within a rather strange spectrum of theology. On the one hand, there is an over-intellectualization of the faith among some. Here the faith is in danger of becoming just another academic discipline. It is something simply to be studied. It lacks any power and dynamism. It does not change lives and hearts, but only serves as an historical reality, which can be compared and contrasted with other historical realities. It ceases to live and grow. In this understanding, the Church appears to be a stagnant and bureaucratic organization rather than a living and breathing organism.

            On the other hand, there are those who have made faith a sentiment, who have abandoned all doctrine and dogma for the sake of a shallow emotivism. Cardinal John Henry Newman diagnosed this state in his own day, writing that “it has become fashionable to say that Faith is, not an acceptance of revealed doctrine, not an act of the intellect, but a feeling, an emotion, an affection, an appetency.” This epidemic most directly threatens our young people today, even more so than the first, and threatens to drag them into a state of tolerant mediocrity, in which heresy and Truth are joined together under the mark “opinion,” and human scandals are put on par with the scandal of the cross.

            The resolution to this issue is not impossible, though it is elusive. The resolution is a proper view of the mystery of redemption, in which Christ came to unite faith and reason, the heart and the mind. Pope Benedict writes,

[In Christ] the world is now seen as something rational: It emerges from eternal reason, and this creative reason is the only true power over the world and in the world. Faith in the one God is the only thing that truly liberates the world and makes it “rational.” When faith is absent, the world only appears to be more rational. In reality the indeterminable powers of chance now claim their due… to establish the world in the light of the ratio that comes from eternal creative reason and its saving goodness and refers back to it—that is a permanent, central task of the messengers of Jesus Christ.

Reason is not and never was opposed to faith. In fact, faith by definition is an intellectual ascent! That is why Archbishop Sheen was so confident to say that those who hate the Catholic Church are those who know nothing about her. The intellect, properly ordered, leads to the Truth. Cardinal Newman writes: “Right reason, that is, Reason rightly exercised, leads the mind to the Catholic Faith, and plants it there, and teaches it in all its religious speculations to act under its guidance.” Reason and faith are so closely united, that St. Thomas asserts the beatific vision to be a “vision of the intellect,” before which all human senses fail.

            Therefore, it becomes apparent that youth ministry must seek to bring young people to a knowledge of Jesus Christ through both faith and reason. Intellectual formation should never be abandoned for more popular and emotive methods. Young people must be trained to know the Truths of the faith in their minds, which are less likely to be swayed than their feelings. In this way, even when they wander far from the cor Jesu, they will look back on their Catholic faith like Sebastian in Brideshead Revisited, as a terrible inconvenience they wish were not true but cannot deny with their being. And thus they will be drawn back, like a twitch upon the thread.

            Youth ministers must seek in their mission to reveal to young people the whole person of Jesus Christ. And they should pray with the great Saint Josemaria Escriva, that young people with their hearts and minds “may seek Christ, may find Christ, may love Christ.” May God bless you.

The Five Lies of Youth Ministry: Part Four - "The Youth Mass"

Young people need a Mass to call their own. That way, the songs, the sermon, and the overall “feel” can pander to their wants and needs. That way, in claiming this youth Mass as their own, they may claim Jesus Christ as their own.

The primary assumption underlying most modern liturgical discussion is this: that liturgy, specifically the Mass, is man’s gift to God. This could not be further from reality. The Mass, interesting enough, is God’s gift to man. Now, I understand that most high school students receive this gift the same way they receive socks and underwear from their mother on Christmas. But they’ll thank her when they run out.

            Liturgy is God’s gift to man, and as such it cannot be changed or tampered with. We are not called to use imagination or creativity when participating in the liturgy. Why? Because the Mass is a participation in the heavenly liturgy! When we attend Mass, we become a part of a liturgy that never ceases, that operates 24/7 with all the saints and angels in heaven (#thingsnevertaughtincatholicgradeschool). That is the mystery we enter into. And now we see how silly it sounds when we whine about how long the Mass is or how we wish the priest would “spice it up” here and there. We do not need to “make the Mass more relevant.” Things eternal are always relevant.

            Since the Second Vatican Council, this has not changed. In fact, this hasn’t changed since the Last Supper. What has changed are the human and cultural aspects which we bring to the Mass—songs, instruments, etc. Now, I am not advocating that organ and chant are the only way to go (although I do think, as does the Church, that they ought be given a pride of place). I have been to beautiful and reverent Masses with contemporary worship music accompanied by guitars and a drum set (though, admittedly, they have been few and far between). The issue instead remains the concept of a “youth Mass.” The phrase in and of itself indicates two things: the first is that the Mass is for, by, and about the youth. The second, more indirectly, is that “regular Mass” is for “old people.”

            Beyond the phraseology, the youth Mass does two things which I believe harmful not only to a youth ministry program, but also to parish life. The first: it often (of course, not always) separates young people from their families at Mass. “So long as they’re all going to Mass” sounds the counterargument. Yet the Sabbath is more than just getting everyone in Church. The Sabbath is, as Pope Benedict writes, about “re-forming, one day a week, the circle of family and household… it is not just a matter of personal piety; it is the core of the social order.” To separate families on the holiest of days is to disrespect the very purpose of that sacred day. And this should not be taken lightly.

            The second side effect of the youth Mass is this: it further separates the young people from the old, and promptly distinguishes that concocted age of “adolescence.” Young people must remain close to their elders, in order that they may grow all the more rapidly and steadily in virtue. And young people must not forget their witness before the elders themselves. Young people at Mass serve as a beacon of hope for the Church, and their prayer reasserts the prophecy of Christ, that “the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” They offer a promise—that the sacraments will continue for the next generation. This witness, too, should not be taken lightly.

            A final note. Perhaps instead of “crafting a Mass” for young people, we teach them the beauty that already resides in the liturgy. I am a firm believer that young people—all people—can recognize beauty, even though they may refuse to acknowledge it. When we teach them the mystery of the Mass, and when we pray the liturgy as Christ and His Church has ordained it, we do not need to worry about numbers and young people. Young people yearn for reality and truth. And they will go to death to find it. Let us remind them that the heart of the liturgy is not music or a nice sermon. The heart of the liturgy is Christ Himself in the Eucharist. The heart of the liturgy is unchanging.

            I came across this image today. It is of a young boy in tears because he could not receive communion at Mass. He was too young.

            I do not think our high school students are too young to yearn for the Eucharist with no strings attached. They do not need an incentive. They just need to be refocused to the eternal. And that is the mission of youth ministry.

The Five Lies of Youth Ministry: Part Three - "Keep Them Entertained"

Young people love loud music, concerts, and entertainment. So let’s use this as our tool for evangelization. Let us entertain them and, in doing so, lead them to Christ. Make sure there is loud music when they arrive to youth group, and loud music when they leave. Make sure there are plenty of skits and silly songs and coloring and crafts and activities. Oh, and avoid silence in adoration—they are not ready for that yet. They need some music to stir their souls and emotions before the Blessed Sacrament...

Youth groups tend to be loud. Very loud. When there isn’t loud music, there are loud games, loud skits, and loud leaders. Occasionally I feel like the Grinch holding my ears due to all the “Noise, noise, noise” down in the Whoville of youth ministry. Yet they need this, they’re not ready for monastic silence… right?

Last year, I led a high school retreat down in Grand Island, Nebraska. In the afternoon, before our closing Mass, I sent all of the young people outside to find a spot and just be alone in silence.  And thirty minutes later, when rounded up, they begged for more time. “I’ve never sat for that long in silence. It was so refreshing!” was the standard response. As it should have been. They were embarking on the first steps of conversation with God.

Christian music has its place, as does “praise and worship” and games and skits. But youth ministry has become so addicted to these side performances that they now struggle to bring young people to the main event. Young people are afraid of silence because their youth ministers are afraid of silence, and as a result no one is hearing the voice of the Lord. Remember the story of Elijah on the mountain? How God was not in the wind or the earthquake or the fire? But rather how God called Elijah through a “still small voice”? God calls in silence. And we wonder why we have no vocations.

 Silence should be the heart of youth ministry, because silence is the heart of prayer, and what are we doing in youth ministry if not teaching young people how to pray. Pope Benedict called prayer “being in silent inward communion with God.” Each week, students should be taught the art of being still, the art of being. We cannot presume to send young people on mission if they cannot be still and silent—if they cannot pray. As the soon-to-be-saint John Paul wrote, “In order to do, we must first learn to be, that is, in the sweet presence of Jesus in the Eucharist.”

And it is there, before the Eucharist in adoration, that our young people need the most silence. Yes, music can be nice, for a bit. But the heart of their prayer must be silence. In silence men hear the call to go up to the altar of God, and women hear the call to put aside the jewels of this world for the pearl of great price. In silence the saints contemplated the great mysteries. In silence were their souls stretched, and in silence were their ecstasies. We must teach young people the art of silence. For only in silence do young people realize that they are beloved children of the father. Only in stillness do we know that God is God. As St. Augustine writes, “Men could be master of this world if only they were willing to be sons of God, for God has given them the power to become his sons. But the unhappy friends of this world so fear to be separated from its embrace that nothing is more toilsome to them than to be at rest.” May we teach young people that toil comes in the noise of this world, which distracts us from the sanctuary of silence where vocation and peace are found—where God is found.

The Five Lies of Youth Ministry: Part Two - "Mixed Small Groups!"

Keep the boys and girls together! Why should we separate them if in the “real world,” they must live and work and share together? Creating little youth group frats seems to violate the call of Christ to spread the gospel to all, and may only make your young people effective in proclaiming Christ to those of their own sex. Oh, and this eliminates the need for the ever hard to find male youth group leader, as anyone can lead a mixed small group.

Let’s get one thing straight off the bat—I think young boys and girls need good and holy interaction and I think a youth group is a good avenue to provide it. In addition, I am perfectly fine with women leading youth groups. Whew. Ok

That being said, I think the general trend in youth ministry to make everything co-ed—not least of all small groups—is crippling the ministry and the men and women therein.

I refuse to make the case that men and women are different. If ever there was a self-evident truth claim (a phrase that I am all too weary of to begin with), this is one of them. Or perhaps this is simply a tenet of common sense, as obvious as the statement “blue is not pink” or “apples are not oranges.” Boys are not girls, and girls are not boys. And despite similar humanity and to a degree anatomy, their very natures are different. This latter point regarding natures may be less evident to the biologist or the skeptical academic. It is, however, most obvious to anyone who has observed children, or been a child himself. Boys are certainly not girls. And vice versa. That is settled and there is no debate to be had.

Therefore, they must be treated differently, taught to embrace their different roles, and led on the path to Christ in different ways. Christ led Mary and Martha to the mystery of his person differently that Peter, James, and John. He called the woman at the well in one manner, and Matthew the tax collector in another. There is a reason that one of the highest vocations in life—the vocation of a consecrated religious—is a call to live men among men and women among women. And while the preservation of celibacy remains a primary reason for this division, another reason often forgotten is that this highest vocation can only be lived in communio, within the bonds of holy fraternity and sorority. Even in the sacrament of Holy Matrimony, husband and wife must continue to foster friendships with their respective sex in order that they might more perfectly love each other. There is something of holiness that can only be discovered man to man, woman to woman.

This wisdom applies to our situation in youth ministry today. The needs and differences between men and women can be seen most evidently in the small group. In a small group of girls, though it may be difficult at first to attain participation, when one girl breaks, the whole crew can become as chatty as we all know high school girls can be. Likewise, when one girl cries, the rest usually join in weeping as the women of Jerusalem. It’s how women are. I don’t pretend to understand.

For men, however, they can sit for hours without saying a word. And they will. Men must share a common physical experience. Running, wrestling, woodworking, whatever it may be. Once this is had, only then can men begin speaking about the deeper things. And those deep conversations are often had in the midst of that common physical experience. If you want to get a young man to speak, work on a project with him, do some manual labor, or take him for a drive. You’ll be surprised at how much a young man can talk, and how much young men want to talk.

Youth ministers must emphasize that men and women are different, and they must then let them grow as such. Along with co-ed retreats and youth nights, there ought be men’s and women’s retreats and men’s and women’s small groups. Quite frankly, women add nothing to men’s small groups but a beautiful distraction and temptation to pride. And I would assume that men add something similar to women’s small groups.

In that crucial stage of young adulthood that high school students embark upon, it is ever necessary that the friendships that carry them through are good, holy, and fraternal/sororal. Men will be led to Christ most quickly by the love and witness of holy men. And women likewise by holy women. Again, this does not exclude the possibility to men led by women or vice versa. Rather, this is an outline to what seems the quickest path to the heart of Christ for young people. Because anything else is a waste of time.