As my wedding day approaches, my fiancée and I have frequently and excitedly reflected on how we intend to raise our children. We have talked with other married couples and conversed with close friends on the philosophy of the family. The fruits of these conversations will undoubtedly make up a substantial part of the posts on this blog.
A couple of weeks ago, we sat with friends at Hillsdale College after an afternoon of backyard football. Over warm soup and wine, we discussed everything you’re not supposed to talk about at Thanksgiving – religion and politics. Eventually, a most relevant question arose: as a Christian, will your children believe in Santa Clause?
Simple enough, right? Not so much. My fiancé and I have talked with many friends about this, and it seems to be the object of many parents’ internal debates: I don’t want to disillusion my child, but does this eliminate all fairy tales and stories? I want to tell stories, but how will my child be able to distinguish between the reality of Scripture and the fantasy of Snow White? I do not think the decision should be this easy, nor should it be rooted in a false idea of tradition – “Well we always believed in Santa, therefore…” Tradition is good, unless it is tradition for tradition’s sake. Tradition is good because it points to something higher, not because it is an end in itself.
The Christian parent (I assert as if I know what I am talking about) must wrestle with this point, and with it wrestle with the whole realm of fantasy and fairy tale. Should we teach our children about Santa Clause?
The one side would understandably reason: The reason for Christmas is Jesus Christ, not some secular gift giver whose red suit was inspired by a Coca-Cola advertisement (true story). If we want our children to understand Christmas, therefore, we should teach them the real reason for the season rather than clouding their minds with falsehoods, which when they are exposed may cause our children to question if every other story they were told is real – especially the story, the life of Christ.
This is a legitimate concern, indeed. An overemphasis on the secular has been one of the greatest causes of headaches and feuds in the season of peace and goodwill to all men. Yet just because a good is abused does not mean we should rebuke the good, but rather the abuse.
In the questions of Santa Clause, two things must be contemplated: the first, what do I want my Children to understand about Christmas in the end? The second, how will they get there? In reality, it is the simple task of discerning ends and means – Aristotelian causes at their best.
To the first I answer: In the end, a child ought know three things about Christmas: First, that unto us is born this day, in the city of David, a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. Second, that the night on which that Child was born was a magical night (not magical in a cauldron-spells-witches and wizards understanding, but magical in its medieval sense – “magic” was how people in the middle ages described miracles, those unexplainable things of God, not of the devil). Christmas is a night filled with magic – angels, stars, and prophecies fulfilled, a virgin birth and God becoming man. If this magic is not understood, then raw enlightenment rationality declares these events impossible – and I hope we can all see the issue with that. Hence, my third point follows, a child ought to know that everything that happened that night was real, and continues to be real to this day.
Now, to the second: how will these ends be accomplished? My thesis is as follows: a child will know these things through Santa Clause. Yes, Santa Clause.
A realistic understanding of children must be accepted in order to accept this thesis. Of course, every good Christian parent wants their child to know that Christmas is about Jesus. And in families who promote this, their children do tend to know it is about Jesus in their heads. Their hearts, however, are another matter. As long as there are wrapped presents and delicious cookies, pretty lights and Christmas trees, children will look forward to these far more than Christmas Eve Mass. Hence, the teaching of the first and primary end of Christmas is a patient and enduring task, the result of which is the fruit of years of labor.
The latter two end – the magic and reality of Christmas – I argue can be taught and understood at a young age. And the manner in which these are taught is through Santa Clause. In believing in Santa Clause, Christmas is always magical. The tale of a man coming down the chimney and leaving presents under the tree will leave children baffled for years. They cannot adequately explain it, and so leave it to magic. And in leaving it to magic, children understand that Christmas is real – not because they have rational proof, but because they need none. Christmas is real because it is magical. You cannot explain Santa Clause any more than you can explain a virgin birth, but in leaving both to the magic of Divine Providence, you assert that belief is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
But what happens when children learn that Santa Clause is not real? Will the magic cease, and hence the reality of Christmas? Perhaps, but only for awhile. There will be a period after Santa’s exposé that children will question, wonder, and perhaps cry. But human nature is not despairing by nature (God forbid it should be), but hopeful. A child will not linger for long in limbo – instead he will look to his parents, because for some reason, though his parents knew the truth about Santa Clause all along, they always thought Christmas was still magical – they always kept a warm smile and a twinkle in their eye around Christmas, loving it more than any other time of year. What kept them going? Why is this holiday still magical for them?
And here, yes here is when the child will realize all along that Santa Clause was real. That the story of Father Christmas, like any good story, was, as C.S. Lewis explained, a “net whereby to catch something else.” You see, all along, your parents never lied to you, they told you a story that was ardently true. You only missed the point. You thought the magic was in the plot, but your parents knew that the magic was in the “something else,” and they hoped that one day you would realize that something else too. They told you of Santa to teach you that magic existed in Christmas, that one day you may realize where that magic truly lies. Santa taught you that Christmas was magical, and finally you realized that it was magical not because of chimneys or presents or cakes. Christmas was magical because of Christmas Eve Mass, because of family and friends, and because Jesus Christ came into our fallen world. And this magic is timeless. It is real.
So parents must never stop telling the story of Santa Clause. If you stop telling the story, you admit that the whole thing was a lie. If you continue telling it years after their belief has passed, you show them one thing: you still believe in the story. Fairy tales and Santa Clause are real at their deepest level. Santa Clause is as real as the buttresses of Notre Dame. They draw you in, show you beauty and magic, cause you to wonder. But they are not the end. They are both in service of something higher. The buttresses bring you within that you may one day realize where the true grandeur of the Cathedral lies – in a small gold box behind the altar, in a tiny white host. Santa brings us within the mystery that one day we may realize where the true magic of Christmas lies – in a small wooden box filled with straw, in a tiny baby.
My favorite image of Santa Clause has always been the image of him kneeling before the manger of the infant Jesus. This is his end. This is why Santa Clause must be told, and believed. But how, a parent might ask, how will this practically be done? I provide the following imperfect formula:
Tell your children the story of Santa Clause at a young age as a story. Do not delay in it or wait for them to gather things from school.
Do not lie to your children! Tell them the story of Santa Clause in the same way you would tell them the story of a princess and a dragon – you never end a fairy tale by saying “The End… and by the way all of that was false. Have a good night.” Let them wonder.
Continue telling the story, and leave much up to the imagination of the child. When asked “How does Santa Clause do this or this?” simply refer back to the story you told – “Well, how did he do it in the story? What do you think?”
Most importantly, never lose sight of where the magic really is, and let your children see from an early age that you and your spouse love Christmas for Jesus Christ and for Christmas Eve Mass, and in this lies the magic and reality of Christmas.
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