What the Mass tells us about Traditional Marriage

My older sister recently relayed the staggering statistic that nearly 82% of Roman Catholics think artificial means of birth control are “morally acceptable.” Startling, but perhaps not surprising given the culture swing. Here’s the more surprising statistic: nearly 80% of Catholics deny the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist.

            Of those who assert any sort of correlation between these two numbers, most would likely praise the technology and rationalism of today for solving overpopulation and dispensing with medieval superstition. We’re smarter now, that’s all.

            This “smarter now” mentality allows us to doctor and redefine things that have always been one way. Why? Simply because we can, because we’re enlightened, because in a cost-benefit analysis, we can now get more for less—more toys for less money, more sexual pleasure for less responsibility, more fun at “church” for less offering. Our modern technology allows us to “get inventive, creative, imaginative”—after all, are these not the three virtues of our modern educational system?

            Now, I’m all for kids (and adults) being creative and imaginative, but are there certain things in life that are preserved from creativity? Certain things about which we should not be inventive, but should just let be? The Church thinks so. In the Catechism of the Catholic Church, she states:

If from the beginning Christians have celebrated the Eucharist and in a form whose substance has not changed despite the great diversity of times and liturgies, it is because we know ourselves to be bound by the command the Lord gave on the eve of his Passion: “Do this in remembrance of me” (1356).

The very heart of the liturgy—the Eucharist—the Church explains, is not up for discussion, not open to opinion polls, not looking for fresh creative minds to analyze how we can get the most Jesus for the least effort on our part. No. The Church recognizes that the liturgy is not our gift to God, but God’s gift to man. How prideful and fallen man is to think he can “improve” or “spice up” something ordained by God for all of time, something divine in its very nature.

            The Church also thinks that marriage is not open to opinion polls, and for the very same reason. Again hearkening to the Catechism:

In his preaching Jesus unequivocally taught the original meaning of the union of man and woman as the Creator willed it from the beginning… The matrimonial union of man and woman is indissoluble: God Himself has determined it: “what therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder” (1614).

Both the Liturgy and marriage are ordained from the beginning and redeemed in Christ. Thus we cannot be imaginative, creative, or inventive with either. They need no “spicing up” from new technology or fresh insights—God needs no improvement.

I used to sketch when I was little, and often gave my parents and relatives framed art for Christmas of birthdays. I recall once giving my little sister a sketch of mine. I had drawn it, perfected it for her, and given it as a gift. She loved it. The next day I saw the picture lying on the kitchen table. She had added colors to my black and white masterpiece! As you can imagine, my response was far from “Thank you for your creativity. It needed a little reform, a fresh perspective, a spicing-up.” I thought it was already perfect. She, of course, did not alter it out of spite. But at that age, she didn’t understand the nature of loving gift—that you accept the gift for what it is, you do not change it to fit your fleeting wants.

Unfortunately, we have received the Liturgy and marriage in the same manner. God, who knows our deepest desires, has given us these truly perfect gifts—they could not be better. We have received them and begun to add our own “colors” because we thought that the gift was lacking. And when those colors bored us, we added more colors until the picture lacked color altogether and became the dark brown hue of poorly blended pastels. Creativity with a gift given in love is not “reform” or “redefinition.” It is self-interested manipulation, which ends in destruction of the gift.

            John Paul II, in his Theology of the Body, writes:

Thus liturgical language, that is, the language of the sacrament and of the “mystery,” becomes in their [spouses’] life and living together the “language of the body” in a depth, simplicity, and beauty hitherto altogether unknown… conjugal life in some sense becomes liturgy (117b. 6).

We must reorder our understanding of the liturgy in order to reorder our understanding of marriage (and vice versa). The two are inseparably linked. In the  Liturgy, Christ the bridegroom and His bride, the Church, become one flesh upon the altar of sacrifice. This is why Churches often have baldacchinos above their altars. They are canopies over a marriage bed.

            In marriage, likewise, the bridegroom and bride become one flesh, offering themselves freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully upon the cross of the marriage bed. Thus when the Eucharist ceases to be really Jesus, when we demote him to a symbol, or worse just a piece of bread, we degrade the work of our Savior—Jesus does not humble himself freely, does not offer himself totally, does not give himself faithfully, does not bear fruit. When we lose this understanding, how can true Christian marriage make any sense? Spouses cease to humble themselves freely but instead embrace a sexual hedonism. They do not offer themselves totally but embrace a contraceptive lifestyle and mentality. They do not give themselves faithfully and instead indulge in pornography and fantasy. And therefore, they do not bear fruit.

            We have forgotten how to receive gift. There is no cost-benefit analysis, no manipulation. Only receptivity, only fiat. And when we forget how to receive gift, we decide to change the gift to fit our wants and hedonistic desires—we reduce the liturgy to a sentiment and matrimony to a civil union. We reject the Real Presence and instead embrace the fallacies of contraception and homosexual unions. “Traditional” marriage, like the Eucharist, simply is. It is not open to opinion polls. It is open to obedience, to fiat, to the joy that surpasses all understanding. Only in the fiat do liturgy and matrimony become truly “creative”—bearing life to the world.  And this life, which God has ordained for us, let no man put asunder.